This is not an April Fool

In December, 18 weeks seemed like an eternity. Now it’s April and we increasingly talk about stages — particularly the most scary stages — of our journey in the past tense.

Cancer treatment comes with a lot of stresses, uncertainties and decisions which make any period in the future a scary place to be heading. When I think about my concerns waiting for Andrea’s MRI and then for the results, I’m instantly transported to where my mind was and the feelings I was experiencing at that time. The same is true of her surgery and awaiting the pathology results which we repeated for a second surgery. There was also the cardiac scan and bone scan.

Chemo has always been the beast that scared me the most. Today, chemo will deliver its last strike and in a few weeks we’ll be able to speak about this stage in the past tense.

I think I’ll celebrate with a big ice cream.

  • Thanks for this beautiful post, Mark.

    For me, awaiting the results of the abdominal ultra sound was the absolute scariest of all. It was the very last test and covered the area most apt to be next struck given the lymph nodes — and I personally knew people struck that way. It lagged so far behind all the others and I spent so much time flopping between preparing for the worst and hoping for the best that I was actually stressing about where best to put my energy.

    But as much as I was petrified of the scanners, the needles, the surgeries, the injected radiation and all the squeam-inducing waits and events, I will take as many tests as they want to throw at me if the results are as gorgeously positive as those heart scan, bone scan, ultrasound, MRI, ECG.

    And, I intend that all tests from now on will have just such gorgeously positive results.

    Thank you for getting us through this far with courage, paperwork-magic, logistical-finesse, and, sometimes, lots and lots of academy-award-worthy acting.

    I love you, Mark. And I'm not going anywhere.

  • CousinBetti

    Awwww, I don't see how you two can be beat by anything – what an amazing team. And that includes Lucy and Bayla of course!! Sending lots of love and hugs to all of you! Love Cousin Betti 🙂

  • Thanks so much, Betti. Hope you can make our big celebration in the summer!


  • Hey you two.

    Just wanted to tell you that I'm thinking about you on this last day of chemo.

    Not sure what else to say except I'm so happy for you and your family.


  • I am with you in spirit and can almost hear that bell ringing. I’m so glad this stage is (nearly) over and that you can move on to better days.

  • Jay

    Congrats to all of you on reaching the end of chemo! I'm so happy for you that you're done with it. I'm with CousinBetti–you're an amazing team.

  • Thank you, Jay. I cannot express how thrilled and free i feel (and how in denial I am about the 2-3 weeks of chemo-recover to come!!).

    Thank you so much for all your help in getting us through this. You said you would, and it really feels like we're getting near the end of this, and ending up better, stronger and happier than when we began.

  • Thanks, Tim.

    As for not having anything to say, 'Wheeeeeeeeeeee!” comes to mind for some reason ;O)

    Looking forward to seeing you at PAB. I hear you are not speaking and I'm Oh so disappointed…. It's not too late to submit something!

  • Thank you so much Tricia! Now that the last infusion is done I *really* feel like we can move on, regain some of our normal life. Finally take deep, healthy, care-free breaths

    Of course, there is the 3 weeks of chemo-recovery, the 6 weeks of radiation and its fatigue and side-effects, 5 years of whatever hormone therapy we choose and then whatever life throws our way after that.

    But (big but) right now, we all feel amazingly grateful, relieved, refreshed and happy, happy, happy.

    We’re going to hang onto that feeling as long as we can.

    Thank you, Tricia, for helping to get us through this journey. We absolutely know the good vibes and boosting messages are a huge help.

    be well and be happy,

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