In my 20 years of software design and 18 years of school, I often dreamed of stepping off the treadmill and spending a day at home.
Well, I’ve been home four months now and today I’m playing hooky from that.
I skipped the 7:00-9:00 ritual of chasing children, barking orders and threats. I skipped my supplements, my juicing and my morning walk. And I’ve decided to give my whining muscles a desperately needed break from what the pre-c me would have considered an extremely light exercise routine.
I do feel frustrated by my post-chemo crash. That my right eye’s still blistered. That I can no longer jog and have two limbs seized by pain. And I do feel some guilt about calling in sick today.
But I’m going ahead with radiation and, starting Monday, daily zaps will dominate my world for at least six weeks.
So, today I’m just breathing and doing exactly as I please.
It’s funny how different — and good — it feels.