A Long-Overdue Apology

It hit me during Bif Naked’s un-freakin-believably honest, poignant and entertaining address at the conference last weekend.
And it hit me hard (thanks to you).

With a dramatic roll of her eyes, Bif described how breast cancer had saddled her with the pieces-picking-upping of her inconsolable family and friends. And the survivor crowd gave a massive been-there roar.

With all the whining that I did about inappropriate reactions, complete collapse (well, even the slightest tearing up) was a possible reaction that had never crossed my mind.

I blasted the world with my news as soon as I got it. By email, SMS, twitter, blogs, newsletter, gchat and in person, I shot my message out with faith that the returning vibes would get me through it.

Not a single adult cried. Not even Mark.

And, no matter how scary things got, my close friends and family always shrugged my worries off. And I guess I followed suit.

I realize now, it was not because they didn’t care. It was because they did.

So thank you, my beautiful friends and family, for shielding me from concern.
And please accept my sincere apology for not appreciating it sooner.

About Andrea

Andrea Ross was diagnosed with breast cancer October 6, 2009 and intends to survive and thrive. You can read more from Andrea here.

  • Janice

    Well, I found you late in the game, after you had finished the hair and cancer eradicating regimen, and I still committed a faux pas, by email. So here is my apology.

  • Anonymous

    Hey, when you are worried about someone, sometimes you react by pitching in where you can. Making gestures, even if small. Doing what you can, even from afar. Worry is always part of the equation as well, but heck, facing any problem with less fret and more “swing for the fences” attitude helps the most. Worry and emotional collapse are luxuries you can indulge in when it’s all over.nThis past week, Matt had his second ear surgery and another friend had a lump in her breast removed and she came to stay with us for a few days afterwards for some love and care and chicken soup- things I wished I could have done for you. She’s lucky that it looks like her relatively rare tumor is benign, but I’ve been thinking about you alot this week and wondering how you all are doing. :)nnThere’s a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

  • Jay

    I would stop crying if you would stop writing these touching blog entries 🙂

  • :o)rnSorry if my writing makes you cry. rnTo my face, you have never showed anything but complete confidence in my recovery, Jay.rnThank you.

  • And I missed it???rnFill me in!

  • Jay

    I definitely always had complete faith in your triumph over canceru2014to your face and behind your back:)nAnd if your posts sometimes make me cry itu2019s just because they are so moving. n

  • Janice

    My very first email to you I mentioned the loss of a friend, to liver mets, from breast cancer, a horrible thing to mention to somebody who is in treatment. Although I did not find this on your list, I have seen it on somebody’s. Anyway, that was recent and raw for me, then. I also know 15 people or so who are survivors, years on. One of them had it once in each breast and is about 85 now.

  • Dee

    I’ve been reading Laurie’s blog (Not Just About Cancer) for several years now – and on Facebook, she just posted your video “Contested Irrelevance”. And, I wanted to say that I loved your speech – and agree with you. You might not get immediate feedback, but whatever it is you put out there that is relevant to you is certainly relevant to other people. Anyway, thank you for posting the video.

  • Brenda

    I just listened to your speech on Laurie’s blog, Not Just About Cancer, and it was amazing. Thank you. I too am a BC survivor, the process has taught me a lot too.

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