We Can Rebuild Her
Better than she was before… Better, Stronger, Happier. A Breast Cancer Journal

Limerick Therapy #3

A survivor, just thrilled to be here,
struggles daily against pain and fear.
While she tries not to whine,
strings of lumps in a line
and frustration destroy her veneer.

More Limerick Therapy here.

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Andrea Posted by Andrea December 12, 2010

December 12, 2010 at 3:29 pm.

6 comments

  • janice

    Awwww sweet Andrea – healing light and thoughts are being sent here. I remember how afraid I used to get when Alison would get sick, for years after all those hospital visits. You are a great example of ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’. nnI am 7 years older than you, and I have spots and lumps and no HUGE fear about them, just a product of age, and then I remember the alternative to growing old is to die young.

  • http://www.WeCanRebuildHer.com Andrea Ross

    Thanks, Janice,nnI’m certainly not concerned about lumps and pains from a vanity point of view. And, believe me, I remember with every breath what a privilege it is to grow old (I had that attitude well before my diagnosis, btw).nnI guess it will take me a while to figure out which lumps and pains are the result of lymphadema, which are the result of continuing destruction of my muscles caused by scar tissue, chemo and radiation and which (hopefully none) I should be running to the doctor about.nnIn the meantime, my family has to try not to pooh-pooh my concerns. I need to understand their need to do so. I need to continue to try to talk-away the terror. And forgive myself when I come completely undone, as I did this past weekend.nnHopefully, I have lots and lots of time to get this right — and then to enjoy all our good health for years to come afterward.

  • Jay

    Andrea, I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. But I know you’ll get through it and get to the other side of it, healthy and worry-free.

  • janice

    Hey Andrea;n’Their need to pooh-pooh your concerns’ is obviously partly a need to reassure themselves. And then there is the need to stay positive – likely a fine line between staying positive and ‘pooh-pooh’. Such an emotional minefield, as well as the physical, and you are navigating it well. It is healthy for your children to see you in all your raw imperfection. And, yes, go ahead and come undone, and do yourself up after and forgive yourself.nnMeanwhile, time continues to put distance between you and cancer, and it really does decrease the terror. Alison was VERY sick when she was home last. 15 years on from the hospital terror, I was told ‘I am on my own and I look after myself’ and she went to the football game in -20, instead of to the doctor. I was worried, but not terrified.nnYes, you have lots of time to get this right – we will be old ladies drinking wine together and exchanging photos of our grandchildren. It is nice we recognize growing old as a privilege, because the media keeps telling us to hide our wrinkles, and we have certainly earned them and should display them with pride.nLove you!

  • http://www.WeCanRebuildHer.com Andrea Ross

    Thank you, Janice.nnI hope Alison is all better now.nYes, they are doing their best to keep sane, just as I am.And, yes, I hope to be enjoying wine and stories of happy lifetimes with you when we are little old ladies.I do often remind myself that I’ll happily take stress about my own health if I have to choose between mine and that of Mark or Luba.I broke down and spoke to my oncology nurse today. She said it sounds like lymph nodes and told me she’d book an appointment for me to see my oncologist next Tuesday. A week from now!I cried.

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