Thanks, Janice,nnI’m certainly not concerned about lumps and pains from a vanity point of view. And, believe me, I remember with every breath what a privilege it is to grow old (I had that attitude well before my diagnosis, btw).nnI guess it will take me a while to figure out which lumps and pains are the result of lymphadema, which are the result of continuing destruction of my muscles caused by scar tissue, chemo and radiation and which (hopefully none) I should be running to the doctor about.nnIn the meantime, my family has to try not to pooh-pooh my concerns. I need to understand their need to do so. I need to continue to try to talk-away the terror. And forgive myself when I come completely undone, as I did this past weekend.nnHopefully, I have lots and lots of time to get this right — and then to enjoy all our good health for years to come afterward.

Hey Andrea;n’Their need to pooh-pooh your concerns’ is obviously partly a need to reassure themselves. And then there is the need to stay positive – likely a fine line between staying positive and ‘pooh-pooh’. Such an emotional minefield, as well as the physical, and you are navigating it well. It is healthy for your children to see you in all your raw imperfection. And, yes, go ahead and come undone, and do yourself up after and forgive yourself.nnMeanwhile, time continues to put distance between you and cancer, and it really does decrease the terror. Alison was VERY sick when she was home last. 15 years on from the hospital terror, I was told ‘I am on my own and I look after myself’ and she went to the football game in -20, instead of to the doctor. I was worried, but not terrified.nnYes, you have lots of time to get this right – we will be old ladies drinking wine together and exchanging photos of our grandchildren. It is nice we recognize growing old as a privilege, because the media keeps telling us to hide our wrinkles, and we have certainly earned them and should display them with pride.nLove you!