We Can Rebuild Her
Better than she was before… Better, Stronger, Happier. A Breast Cancer Journal

Am I Touching Something?

“You can keep them bottled up, but they will come out, Michael. Sometimes in the most unexpected… Hey, where the @!*# are my hard-boiled eggs?!

– Tobias Fünke. Good Grief! Arrested Development 2004.

My life is brimming with beautiful people. Wise, interesting, creative, curious, passionate, compassionate, generous, articulate, level-headed, fun-loving people.

I’m lucky.

So I’m always shocked at the hair-trigger hostility I stumble into. Seemingly reasonable people who spray me with hatred over a sideways glance.

It confuses me.

Are they stretched to the breaking point struggling to maintain some decent facade? Are they barely bottling up frustration, dissatisfaction, loneliness, insecurity, envy and rage? And why bother spewing venom at inconsequential me?

In the online world, it’s especially easy to lay out and examine entire interactions. And I’ve often done just that. Weighing a scant response from me against the lengthy and personal ferocity that results.

And my confusion remains.

But I’m learning to scrounge up some compassion for their barely bound pain. Beam some healing, happy vibes.

And move on.

Andrea Ross was diagnosed with breast cancer October 6, 2009 and intends to survive and thrive. You can read more from Andrea here.

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Andrea Posted by Andrea August 15, 2011

August 15, 2011 at 11:12 am.

13 comments

  • http://sinananj.blogspot.com Jenny Sinanan

    Beam those healing vibes, Andrea. u00a0There’s no greater gift you can give yourself and to those whose words or actions send ripples of angst through you. u00a0I bow to you for your graciousness, for your act of compassion touches us all.u00a0

  • http://www.WeCanRebuildHer.com Andrea Ross

    Thank you, Jenny. It’s graciousness-in-training for sure. But I’m trying. And, most importantly, I’m working hard to encourage it in Luba before they get too caught up in the shrapnel of other peoples’ pain. Thank you for your ongoing example of wisdom and healing words.

  • http://www.markblevis.com Mark

    I’m going to take a stab at something and say that you hate White Power Bill.u00a0

  • http://www.markblevis.com Mark

    I’m going to take a stab at something and say that you hate White Power Bill.u00a0

  • http://www.WeCanRebuildHer.com Andrea Ross

    LMAO!!!n”White Power Bill canu2019t hear you… with such dirty ears.”

  • http://www.WeCanRebuildHer.com Andrea Ross

    LMAO!!!n”White Power Bill canu2019t hear you… with such dirty ears.”

  • http://suddenalarm.blaseckie.ca moe

    There was a time when I went out of my way to read or watch people I knew had opposing views to mine. William F. Buckley Jr comes to mind and P. J. O’Rourke as well. Compare them with the current crop of ‘conservative’ spokespersons like Glenn Beck and Limbaugh.u00a0nnAt a certain point you have to ask yourself if it is worth your time and energy to pay any attention to someone who cannot take a moment to listen to you with respect. To attend to someone who can only shout you down without offering any reasoned argument in support of their ideas or to counter yours. In the case of internet trolls, I don’t think the majority even have any ideas, just vitriol and venom.nnIt is sad these people exist but we can’t solve their problems in a minute and in this medium. Partly because the help they require is so much more extensive and mostly because, like the proverbial lightbulb, they have to want to change. u00a0nnKeep sending out the good thoughts, it will make you feel better while arguing with a troll means you have waded into that fetid swamp of thoughts where they live.nnxxoonmoe

  • http://www.WeCanRebuildHer.com Andrea Ross

    Thanks, MoenRandom internet trolls I can handle.nHair-triggered rage-filled supposed-friends are the ones that baffle me most.nA Troll in PABsters-clothing, perhaps

  • http://suddenalarm.blaseckie.ca moe

    Ah, I assumed it was a flaming troll…never assume anything. That changes everything.u00a0While everything I said applies, just to a different situation.nnHere’s hoping positive thoughts will heal the rift. I’ll start sending them your way as well as for the other one.u00a0nnxxoonmoe

  • http://www.WeCanRebuildHer.com Andrea Ross

    Thanks, Moe.nnI’m chalking it Up to great opportunity to practice some learnings and I’m happy to move onnnIf that’s what’s begging to blast me barely below the surface, I consider the rift a giftn

  • Laurie Kingston

    This is a beautiful post. I struggle too to understand when these things happen. And I work not to make it trigger my own rage. And yes- it helps to remember all the truly kind, thoughtful people who live in my world and all the random acts of kindness I’ve witnessed over the years.nSorry you were spewed on. You deserve better. Every day. All the time. xo

  • Laurie Kingston

    Oh and also- you are nevery inconsequential.u00a0

  • http://www.WeCanRebuildHer.com Andrea Ross

    Thank you so much for every part of this, LauriennWe all deserve better and the tough part for me is remembering that this supposed friend also deserves better than whatever is tormenting him and filling him with barely concealed resentment and rage. I have always had a hard time dealing with grossly illogical over reactions. It’s so easy to get caught up in logic and self defense.nnAs for the “inconsequential me”, it’s not a put down Of myself. It’s just that I gom along feeling mostly like a wallflower ( and usually happily so ) certainly not a threat in terms of social status, career, confidence or achievements and then Wham! somebody blows a gasket slamming me. It baffles me. In fact, now that I think about it, it’s almost Flattering to that they put themselves through such a draining and, actually, humiliating efforts for some perceived need to slam me downnnActually, I am starting to feel pretty Honored by this guy’s need to lambaste me!nnThanks for making me chew on his, Laurie!!