Blendered. Again.

School started this morning.

Lucy and Bayla were thrilled. Mark was melancholy.

And I was chopped, tossed and tongue-tied by the schoolyard full of parents.

Stepping into that sea of smiling excitement knocked me flat.

I can’t think. I can’t smile. I don’t know where to look. Where to stand. My brain goes blank. I say stupid things.
It feels like I’m in a blender.

There were great friends in that crowd. And faces that maim me at the best of times. Both bowled me.

Sure, it’s all in my head. And I should probably ground myself, breath, repeat some mantra. But it takes me by surprise. I’m suddenly whirling and sputtering. And blank.

But I survived.

And today’s the first day of my first school year as a free-all-day mom.
I’ve got bon-bons to eat.
I’d better get to it.

About Andrea

Andrea Ross was diagnosed with breast cancer October 6, 2009 and intends to survive and thrive. You can read more from Andrea here.

  • janice

    u00a0Hope the bon bons are good. I remember the awkward dropping off days – about 2 of them.

  • No need to prove a damn thing. u00a0No need to be anyone other than who you are. u00a0Rock it.

  • don’t forget to fluff pillows…or are you saving that for the afternoon?u00a0

  • Andree O’Donnell

    don’t forget and “soap operas” to watch! Enjoy!u00a0

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