We Can Rebuild Her
Better than she was before… Better, Stronger, Happier. A Breast Cancer Journal

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Reflections

"As Hope Edelman puts it so well in her book Motherless Daughters: 'Our mothers are our most direct connection to our history and our gender.' By their presence or absence, the example they set or the lack of it, their positive influence or their negative one, by what they gave us and what they couldn't, for every girl who makes the journey from child to woman, the first mirror in which she looks is the mirror of her mother's face.

What we do and don't see there is a part of us forever."

-- Girl in the Mirror: Mothers and Daughters in the Years of Adolescence. Nancy L. Snyderman, M.D. , 2002.
Fingers crossed.
(Thank you, Janice.)
Andrea Posted by Andrea

September 9, 2011 at 8:33 pm.

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Living What Counts

Andrea Posted by Andrea

August 9, 2011 at 11:38 am.

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Attention. Here and Now.

"The ego believes that through negativity it can manipulate reality and get what it wants. It believes that through it, it can attract a desirable condition or dissolve an undesirable one...

..whenever you are unhappy, there is the unconscious belief that the unhappiness "buys" you what you want. If [you] did not believe that unhappiness works, why would you create it?

The fact is, of course, that negativity does not work. Instead of attracting a desirable condition, it stops one from arising. Instead of dissolving an undesirable condition, it keeps it in place....

But as long as negativity is there, use it. Use it as a kind of signal that reminds you to be more present."

-- Eckhart Tolle, "The Power of Now".
Andrea Posted by Andrea

August 9, 2011 at 7:51 am.

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And now for those last few cobwebs…

"The first thing to remember is this: as long as you make an identity for yourself out of the pain, you cannot become free of it. As long as part of your sense of self is invested in your emotional pain, you will unconsciously resist or sabotage every attempt that you make to heal that pain. ...because you want to keep yourself intact, and the pain has become an essential part of you... [The pain] is the living past in you, and if you identify with it, you identify with the past.

A victim identity is the belief that the past is more powerful than the present, which is the opposite of the of the truth. ..The truth is that the only power there is, is contained within this moment."

-- Eckhart Tolle, "The Power of Now".

More forgiveness musings here.

Andrea Posted by Andrea

July 11, 2011 at 7:49 am.

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Less is More: Anthony Marco PAB2010

One of the many highlights of the fab PAB2011 experience was the wit, wisdom and warmth of Anthony Marco. While we await publication of the PAB2011 sessions, please enjoy his thought-provoking and experiential jolt from PAB2010, A Word is Worth a Thousand Pictures (a PAB2010 JOLT! by Anthony Marco). [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcG3hKiqb0M&[/youtube] More words, wisdom and wide, wide smiles thanks to Anthony, here.

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Andrea Posted by Andrea

July 2, 2011 at 7:31 am.

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Healing Humiliation: Wise Words from Julien Smith

I've been planning my PAB2011 Jolt. But I'm choking. Luckily, I remembered this sanity-saving advice from Julien Smith. Here's a tiny taste....

Do things that you consider embarrassing.

You must try this. Find your internal filters and break them, one at a time. Notice how society, like an ocean, smoothes over the waves you make, until what you do gets eliminated, or becomes the status quo. Work with this.

-- Julien Smith, The Complete Guide to Not Giving a Fuck If my Jolt is a flop. I'll handle it. Eeep.
Andrea Posted by Andrea

June 8, 2011 at 8:59 pm.

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Talk for Walking

I'm always pleased to hear that my blog has reached people. Especially those on their own versions of this journey. Today, I heard from Alex in London, England. She asked if I had any advice for post-treatment life. I thought I'd share my response here...

Hi Alex, Congratulations on completion of your treatment and thanks for your very kind message. Hmmm. Advice for life after treatment? I guess my advice would be: lower your standards, enjoy each day, face your fears, exude gratitude and try not to stress about prevention. It seems easy to find tonnes of advice on how to try to prevent recurrence and I made a tonne of lifestyle, food, habit changes during my treatment. But the best advice I have for myself (or you) is probably to be good to myself: and that can mean to remember to be moderate about the anti-cancer stuff. Not to beat myself up because I go weeks or months without eating brazil nuts or almonds or ginger or green tea or flax meal. To accept that I drink coffee and red wine etc. That I have the occasional run of late nights. Oh, and unsubscribe from all cancer blogs! (I do check in on my cancer-friends from time to time, and catch up on their stories, but getting a steady stream of daily cancer-news was not having healthy results for the post-treatment me) And here's a great bunch of advice. Wishing you many years of great health and happiness. Andrea

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Andrea Posted by Andrea

June 5, 2011 at 7:06 pm.

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Forget Regrets. Enjoy the Wondrousness.

The world, indeed the whole universe, is a beautiful, astonishing, wondrous place. There is always more to find out. I don't look back and regret anything, and I hope my family can find a way to do the same.

-- Derek K. Miller (June 30, 1969 - May 3, 2011) Thank you, Derek, for your strength, your humour, your wisdom and your authenticity. Thinking of you, Airdrie, Lauren and Marina. Wishing you healing and many years of happiness and good health. Love, Andrea
Andrea Posted by Andrea

May 4, 2011 at 12:52 pm.

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Encore

A rallying cry from the reluctant hero of Zorgamazoo:

Now, sometimes you lose and sometimes you win, but my Pop always told me: You never give in! And if he were here now, I know what he’d say: Morty, my son, when you’re caught in a fray,

or your travels are tough and the going is rough, or you’re up to your neck in the slippery stuff, or say some old robots are on the attack, then I tell you, my son: You start fighting back!.

Zorgamazoo, by Robert Paul Weston RazorBill, 2008.

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Andrea Posted by Andrea

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