Surviving and thriving.That's us, to the right. Two years ago today. Moments after sharing the bad news with Luba. So early in a surreal journey. Behind that smile, a big part of me thought life was over. All of me hoped it was just beginning. We headed to Quebec City that week. As planned. I tossed and turned in the hotel bed, hoping I'd somehow fall asleep before Lucy, Bayla and Mark finished watching "The Corpse Bride", "Beetlejuice", "Edward Scissorhands" and "The Nightmare Before Christmas". I was awoken, one of those nights, by a ringing thought: This was the beginning of "The Spicy Me". Before this ordeal, my aim was to get through life. To make it to some far off end without losing any of the fabulousness I'd stumbled into. New territories and aspirations were reserved for Luba. As a matter of course. Two years ago today, I opened my eyes. I became alert. Aware. Present. Grateful plus. I started examining. And choosing. And imagining more. The two years since then have brought trauma and mourning, recovery and joy. I've made friends. I've taken chances. I've explored new territories. I've become the Spicy Me. I'd never choose cancer. I never want it again. For any one. And I'm supremely grateful for the efflorescing goodness I've been treated to since that mind-boggling beginning. Two years ago today. I'm aspiring to many, many more good years. By the way.
|3 days and 3 nights of luxury, relaxation and amazing scenery, Ottawa to Edmonton.|
|A happy reunion with a long-lost friend.|
|An afternoon of waves and water slides.|
|Abrasions, bruises, a broken big toe and minus-one iphone, thanks to a harrowing afternoon on the Pembina River.|
|Thrilling road-side views of bears, elk, deer, coyotes and mountain goats.|
|Gorgeous views of mountains and lakes.|
|Such sadness at the news of Jack Layton.|
|An afternoon on horseback.|
|A glacier tour. A boat tour. A gondola tour. (oh my)|
|A double-birthday celebration.|
|A day of badlands, dinosaurs and hoodoos.|
|An afternoon at the zoo.|
|An afternoon of heartbreak and hope.|
|A weekend of walloping western hospitality.|
|A decadent dinner with long-lost cousins.|
|A blast of all-consuming news.|
|A day in the old west.|
|3 days and 3 nights of luxury, relaxation and amazing scenery, Edmonton to Ottawa.|
|A happy reunion with Phae and our home sweet home.|
"The ego believes that through negativity it can manipulate reality and get what it wants. It believes that through it, it can attract a desirable condition or dissolve an undesirable one...
..whenever you are unhappy, there is the unconscious belief that the unhappiness "buys" you what you want. If [you] did not believe that unhappiness works, why would you create it?
The fact is, of course, that negativity does not work. Instead of attracting a desirable condition, it stops one from arising. Instead of dissolving an undesirable condition, it keeps it in place....
But as long as negativity is there, use it. Use it as a kind of signal that reminds you to be more present."-- Eckhart Tolle, "The Power of Now".
Taking Bold Steps.
Do things that you consider embarrassing.
You must try this. Find your internal filters and break them, one at a time. Notice how society, like an ocean, smoothes over the waves you make, until what you do gets eliminated, or becomes the status quo. Work with this.-- Julien Smith, The Complete Guide to Not Giving a Fuck If my Jolt is a flop. I'll handle it. Eeep.
A dream of finding money suggests that the dreamer is becoming aware of their intrinsic value to themselves and others, from a spiritual, rather than a material perspective. It can also indicate a recent success or imminent achievement in their waking life in which their self worth is visibly manifested. Often this dream indicates that the dreamer possesses special artistic or creative abilities that they are in the process of becoming aware of... Dream Message You are worth more than you think you are, and should not feel reticent about taking the chance to prove your value to yourself and others. As you become more aware of your own self worth, you will become more confident at exploring opportunities in your waking life that are to your advantage. (Ian Wallace, Finding Money)I'm glad I checked.