We Can Rebuild Her
Better than she was before… Better, Stronger, Happier. A Breast Cancer Journal

Am I Touching Something?

"You can keep them bottled up, but they will come out, Michael. Sometimes in the most unexpected... Hey, where the @!*# are my hard-boiled eggs?!"

-- Tobias Fünke. Good Grief! Arrested Development 2004.

My life is brimming with beautiful people. Wise, interesting, creative, curious, passionate, compassionate, generous, articulate, level-headed, fun-loving people. I'm lucky. So I'm always shocked at the hair-trigger hostility I stumble into. Seemingly reasonable people who spray me with hatred over a sideways glance. It confuses me. Are they stretched to the breaking point struggling to maintain some decent facade? Are they barely bottling up frustration, dissatisfaction, loneliness, insecurity, envy and rage? And why bother spewing venom at inconsequential me? In the online world, it's especially easy to lay out and examine entire interactions. And I've often done just that. Weighing a scant response from me against the lengthy and personal ferocity that results. And my confusion remains. But I'm learning to scrounge up some compassion for their barely bound pain. Beam some healing, happy vibes. And move on.

Andrea Ross was diagnosed with breast cancer October 6, 2009 and intends to survive and thrive. You can read more from Andrea here.

Andrea Posted by Andrea August 15, 2011

August 15, 2011 at 11:12 am.

13 comments

And now for those last few cobwebs…

"The first thing to remember is this: as long as you make an identity for yourself out of the pain, you cannot become free of it. As long as part of your sense of self is invested in your emotional pain, you will unconsciously resist or sabotage every attempt that you make to heal that pain. ...because you want to keep yourself intact, and the pain has become an essential part of you... [The pain] is the living past in you, and if you identify with it, you identify with the past.

A victim identity is the belief that the past is more powerful than the present, which is the opposite of the of the truth. ..The truth is that the only power there is, is contained within this moment."

-- Eckhart Tolle, "The Power of Now".

More forgiveness musings here.



More Borrowed Words here.

Andrea Posted by Andrea July 11, 2011

July 11, 2011 at 7:49 am.

1 comment

Happiness Is…

Hanging. Twisting. Stretching. Trusting. Letting go...
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Andrea Posted by Andrea July 6, 2011

July 6, 2011 at 2:28 pm.

2 comments

Practicing Safe Wrecks

Fear of failure and regret have tortured me my whole life. The first strangulates me, lest I do something stupid. The second beats me ruthlessly each time I do stupid things. Lately, I've been lowering my standards. Practicing accidental failure. Turns out sloppily slipping into failure is the easy part. The real trick is skipping the resulting regret, disappointment, embarrassment and frustration. The not beating myself up. Luckily, I'm giving myself loads and loads of opportunities to practice.

Andrea Ross was diagnosed with breast cancer October 6, 2009 and intends to survive and thrive. You can read more from Andrea here.

Andrea Posted by Andrea July 5, 2011

July 5, 2011 at 8:58 am.

2 comments

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BUY Avapro ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, I'm often asked for tips for newly diagnosed breast cancer patients, their family and friends. But every situation is different -- and it's tough to tell which of or whether my choices have actually helped.

The best I can do is offer personal reflections on my various decisions.

So, here is a rambly whack of them...

The Good: I'm glad I chose to...





















































Insist on a Port-a-cath
Although I was fairly terrified leading up to it, the port-a-cath installation procedure turned out to be a total breeze -- and well worth the cyborg result. My port-a-cath saved a good length of vein from chemo-induced damage and allowed me unrestricted, convenient use of both arms for my 18 weeks of chemo, BUY Avapro ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION.

Mark's pretty eager to have it removed, but as long as I have blood-work to be done, I'm thrilled to have this built-in valve.

Look to real-life role models
This journey would have been lonely and dismal were it not for the brilliant examples and support of friends like Caroline, Laurie, Derek, Avapro from canadian pharmacy, Gloria and Eden, whose dignity, courage, resilience and generosity showed me that life is what you choose to make it.

I am so immensely grateful to these shining lights.

Stay active
I'm convinced that getting up and out of my PJs each morning, doing breakfast and walking to school with Luba, sticking to a fairly demanding exercise routine and taking care of household chores helped my body and mind cope with the rigors of treatment.

Chemo threw my emotions into turmoil one week every three, and staying active kept me myself and helped me climb out of that trough again and again.

Enjoy Energy Therapy
Throughout my treatment, buy Avapro without a prescription, I benefited regularly from the talent, generosity and skill of three energy workers. BUY Avapro ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, I'm sure the resulting insight, healing and optimism played a major role in minimizing my treatment side-effects, improving my outlook and speeding my well-being.

I am so grateful.

Ask for and accept help
I've never been comfortable doing either, but asking for and accepting help not only solved the many logistical problems posed by hectic medical schedules and diminished physical abilities, it deepened friendships, introduced our young family to the beauty of community, Order Avapro online overnight delivery no prescription, filled me with healing gratitude, nurtured my always-battered self-esteem and left me longing to pay-it-forward.
Capture and share our story
We broadcast my diagnosis as soon as it hit us. Right from -- and especially at -- the very beginning, we audio-recorded and snapped photos of our journey: sharing the news with Luba, attending appointments, celebrating milestones and living life in between.

I believe capturing our journey gives me a sense of moving forward, of anticipating the victorious sense of looking back, and at the very least preserves precious memories for Luba.

Sharing our journey, specifically and authentically, allows me to help those who may, unfortunately, follow. And distilling overwhelming situations to web-sized chunks helps me get to and focus on their vital core, BUY Avapro ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Kjøpe Avapro online, bestill Avapro online,

Juice veggies
As gag-inducing as these morning concoctions are, the ritual of selecting, chopping, juicing and somehow ingesting a whack of fresh vegetables every morning makes me feel like a healthiness hero.

My daily juice includes beet, carrot, celery, ginger, swiss chard, lemon and, if I have it, bok choy, broccoli or cauliflower. Powerful veggies but possibly more powerful superstition.

Daily juicing of fresh cut wheat grass is a salubrious luxury that I only wish I could afford to keep up forever.

Embrace temporary baldness
Our head-shaving party (video) helped me take control of my impending hair loss and enter temporary baldness with a resounding sense of support, victory and even joy.

Choosing funky, friend-infused hand-made hats over wigs and baring it all when temperatures permitted, gave me the comfort, freedom, acceptance and playfulness that I don't think hiding under a wig could.

Supplement Vitamin D3, Curcumin, Vitamin C, Resveratrol and Green Tea Extract -- and drink lots of Matcha
I've tried a tonne of supplements during this journey, but after reading numerous books and articles (and not retaining the details of any) this is the handful I'm left feeling starve cancer best.

This feeling is far from scientific. I'm sharing it, anyway.

Reboot me
I'm so grateful that I have taken this time to examine my life, my thinking, my habits, relationships, choices and outlook -- trying to toss out what wasn't working and deliberately striving for new patterns.

My daily practices of gratitude and forgiveness have been far from perfect, buy Avapro online no prescription, but I feel lighter than my old self, and I feel much better about myself and my world.

Celebrate every victory and milestone
Ever since that lump turned up, we've been pulling our way through time by anticipating the celebration of milestones and victories, big and small.

When there is something to look forward to, life is good, BUY Avapro ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION.

I'm so grateful that, as a family, we look for and find these things.


The Bad: I'm glad I chose not to...





























Regularly consume sugar, white flour and other simple carbs
Research shows, high GI foods, such as sugar, white flour, Avapro samples, potatoes and white rice, trigger hormones such as insulin and IGF growth factor which, in turn, lead to inflammation and cancer growth.

Since sugar, unlike dairy, San Diego, California. Dallas, Texas. San Antonio, Texas, offers close to no nutrition, I ended up deciding to mostly do sugar socially. Way easier than giving up coffee (which also raises insulin levels). BUY Avapro ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, I'm glad I did.

Work during chemo, radiation and hormone therapy ramp-up
Yes, I probably could have worked during a good part of my treatment. And, yes, Avapro 250mg, a lot of people do it.

I'm glad I decided not to. For me, the personal benefits of focusing completely on healing far out-weighed the financial benefits of working. I'm thankful for Mark's job and that we all made adjustments to make it work, BUY Avapro ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION.

Hide my situation from our daughters -- or myself
None of us know what's ahead of us.

And we always hope for the best.

But we've been honest with ourselves and our girls since the very beginning of this journey, rx free Avapro. And I'm glad of that.

Venture into public places during chemo
It was inconvenient, isolating and not absolutely essential, but avoiding public places for 18 weeks was a tiny price to pay to avoid the colds, flus or H1N1 viruses that may have stretched out my treatment -- or worse.

My chemo-cocooning gave me time to exercise, reflect, create and, most important, heal. And it protected me from the world I had yet to find my new spot in BUY Avapro ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, .

Choose the attitude of fighter or invalid
I didn't choose cancer. But I do get to choose my attitude.

There are lots of options.

I've been happy with mine.


The Ugly: I wish I hadn't...

























Fought so hard for bilateral mastectomy
I left my first post-diagnosis appointment absolutely adamant to remove both breasts. I remained so for three full weeks, BUY Avapro ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION.

After several late night phone calls, and just days before my long-awaited surgery, my fabulous surgeon made me an offer I couldn't refuse and I reluctantly agreed to a lumpectomy.

Turned out cancer had reached all 3 sentinal lymph nodes and recurrence could be anywhere. Removing my breasts wouldn't have helped.
I am so grateful for Dr. BUY Avapro ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, Lorimor's perseverence and care.

Wasted energy on impossible relationships
My diagnosis and publicly shared journey gave me opportunities to reconnect with long lost friends and relatives, near and far. Those renewed relationships have enriched our lives.

My diagnosis also gave me an excuse to work on some very broken family relationships, buy Avapro from mexico. But after wasting precious energy and effort, they're right back where they started -- or worse, BUY Avapro ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. I should have put that energy into worthwhile relationships and healing.

Bothered with daily Flor-Essence Herbal Tea
During much of my treatment, I bought this pricey powder, followed the 24hour brewing and straining procedures then woke up earlier than I otherwise would have each morning so I could prepare it, drink it and wait 30 minutes before I could eat or drink anything else.

I have no idea whether this or any of my practices did me any good, but this one was inconvenient and costly and I eventually gave it up.

Neglected my protein intake
Chemo eats away at muscle mass but I had hoped that by jogging, walking and doing strengthening exercises throughout my treatment, I would keep my muscles strong.

Turns out, my plan should have included more protein.
I ended up with two sets of tennis elbow and a brutal case of plantar fasciitis, which worsened after chemo ended and has prevented me from jogging ever since. Live and learn.

BUY Avapro ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, Deprived myself of coffee and dairy
I did not sleep one wink the night I received my diagnosis. And I guess, at that time, I figured I'd never sleep again. So, Nashville-Davidson, Tennessee. Portland, Oregon, I cut out coffee. Cold turkey.

Four months later, I realized delicious coffee was a treat I deserved, BUY Avapro ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. No great loss, I know. But enjoying a delicious coffee treat makes me feel like me, so I wish I'd relented sooner.

As for dairy, Indianapolis, Indiana, San Francisco, California, it has a pretty bad reputation in certain circles, but with chemo-induced menopause and bone-robbery, skipping dairy was one of my stupider choices.


Sorry for this absurdly long post. I wanted it to be a one-stop shop for anyone who may need it..

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Andrea Ross was diagnosed with breast cancer October 6, 2009 and intends to survive and thrive. You can read more from Andrea here.

Andrea Posted by Andrea September 12, 2010

September 12, 2010 at 8:06 pm.

7 comments

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A Fresh Start.

Just days before that lump jumped to centre stage, Mark presented me with this birthday card.

Its message so maddeningly trite but true, Nashville-Davidson, Tennessee. Portland, Oregon. Pilex in cats, dogs, children, Since then, life has seemed a series of countdowns, rx free Pilex. 400mg, 450mg, To surgeries, celebrations and ends of various treatments, buy Pilex online cod. Where can i buy cheapest Pilex online, Escaping to the I Can Do It! Conference this weekend reminded me of the importance of choosing :


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More Happiness here.

Andrea Posted by Andrea June 2, 2010

June 2, 2010 at 6:56 am.

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Andrea Ross was diagnosed with breast cancer October 6, 2009 and intends to survive and thrive. You can read more from Andrea here.

Andrea Posted by Andrea April 13, 2010

April 13, 2010 at 8:48 am.

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More Borrowed Words here.

Andrea Posted by Andrea April 10, 2010

April 10, 2010 at 7:44 am.

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This journey has led me to think a lot about family BUY Nasonex ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, . Nasonex 1000mg, 2000mg, My Family Is Not

My family has not been my sister, Linda, Nasonex coupon, Nasonex 5mg, from whom I've heard word zero for months, despite my email updates and her easy access to this blog, Nasonex 50mg. Nasonex 100mg, My family has not been my brother, David, Nasonex 200mg, Nasonex withdrawal, who popped into my life briefly following my diagnosis, who is, buy Nasonex online no prescription, Australia, uk, us, usa, apparently, able to send me good vibes but has not bothered to follow this blog or to correspond, Nasonex in cats, dogs, children. Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Las Vegas, Nevada, My family is not my parents, Keith and Josie, buy generic Nasonex, El Paso, Texas. Washington, D.C. Seattle, Washington, whose only reaction to my journey has been self-pity, blame, købe Nasonex online, αγοράζουν online Nasonex, Japan, craiglist, ebay, hcl, hostility and poison.

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My Family Is

My family is Mark, Lucy, Bayla, Mark's parents, Rhoda and Bert, my cousin Kelly and her family, my Aunt Barb and Uncle Wilf, our dear friends near and far, those of you out there with whom we've shared friendship, support, laughs, ups and downs before and during this challenge, and those with whom warm friendships have recently started to sprout, BUY Nasonex ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. New York. Los Angeles, California, And with whom we'll continue to share friendship, support, where can i order Nasonex without prescription, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Phoenix, Arizona, laughs, ups and downs for years to come, rx free Nasonex. Nasonex samples, It's been a painful learning but I am grateful for the realization and the healing which I hope will follow it.

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More Journey Learnings here.

Andrea Posted by Andrea April 3, 2010

April 3, 2010 at 5:19 pm.

18 comments

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Prior to this journey, I had a long-standing, comfortable, mutually supportive, fun, close relationship with exactly one member of my family.

My sister, San Diego, California. Dallas, Texas. San Antonio, Texas, Zofran samples, Linda.
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Three thousand kilometres away, buy Zofran no prescription. Zofran 500mg, That's one out of 78++ family members:


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  • 4 direct family members of Mark's

  • 18 maternal first cousins of mine (a hint of one promising relationship)

  • 52 paternal first cousins of mine (one friendly but distant relationship)

  • my 35+ aunts and uncles

  • not to mention Mark's cousins, aunts and uncles.


During the first five months of this journey, Zofran withdrawal, Zofran for sale, long lost cousins Tracy, Kathi, Zofran 150mg, Buy Zofran from canada, Betti and Stephanie have found and chosen to follow this blog and have offered hints at new beginnings and good vibes.

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  1. Instantly Committed -- Hands On

  2. Instantly Connected -- Hands Off

  3. Unchanged -- Innocuous

  4. Cautious

  5. Unchanged -- Destructive


Perhaps you've seen similar patterns in your own experiences?

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We’ve had our audio recorders running during a good chunk of our journey. You can hear more audio collages here.

Andrea Posted by Andrea March 13, 2010

March 13, 2010 at 3:35 pm.

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Andrea Ross was diagnosed with breast cancer October 6, 2009 and intends to survive and thrive. You can read more from Andrea here.

Andrea Posted by Andrea March 2, 2010

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Forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past.


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More Borrowed Words here.

Andrea Posted by Andrea February 28, 2010

February 28, 2010 at 11:44 am.

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Bayla Posted by Bayla February 3, 2010

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