First Person, First Class

As our enjoyable BOLO evening ended, last week, my friend Laurie and I sprang to our feet, hoping to dash to the exit before throngs of bloggers clogged our path.

But the packed room was gridlocked.

I shrugged. This would take a while.

But Laurie was dauntless. She raised her eyebrows, smirked and assured me that her “pointy elbows” would whisk us across that floor.

And they did. In a flash we were strolling down Preston — me admiring her finesse. “You’re amazing,” I said, “I stand invisible for ages trying to squeeze through crowds.”

“Oh, me too,” Laurie chirped, “I can only do that for someone else.”

Far. Too. Familiar.

In the wise words of my friend Janice, “Good God woman … Be even kinder to yourself, as you have to live with you.”

Two tier service just disgusts me yet I foist it daily on myself.
So, I’m trying to stop.

Thanks to both women for the reminders.
I must be worth first class self-service — judging by the company I keep.

Bold. By Default.

One million times I backed out of this jolt.

But having publicly announced and collected input for a 5 minute spiel about standing up to fear, it seemed the embarrassment of backing out might actually dwarf the embarrassment of flopping.

So I did the jolt.

And I’m glad I did.

Because life is better when we take bold steps.

Thanks to Alexa Clark for the jolt photo.

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Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn’t one today.

October 6, 2009. Almost 2:00pm.

The long awaited phonecall. Time stands still.

“I’m afraid I don’t have good news for you, ” my doctor ventures, “it’s cancer.”

I listen. I thank her. I walk back to my desk.

I re-enter my world, but my world is gone.

And every day since then I’ve been in my own private Punxatawney. Trying to figure out where I am, how I got here, how, when and where I’m going to come out. And who I’m going to be when I do.

But it turns out that’s a good thing because just like Phil, when the learning is through, I’m going to leave with the woman that I’ve wanted all along — the better, stronger, happier me.

We’ll be watching and laughing, as usual, tonight. Will you?

Image thanks to