Happiness Is..

Bold Steps.
I was completely honoured to be selected to read a WeCanRebuildHer.com post at Blog Out Loud Ottawa, last night. This reading followed an extremely low week for me and I had barely scraped myself together enough to attend the event, let alone participate. I'm immensely grateful to the many friends and magical powers that got me through this week of self-inflicted torment. And I'm grateful to Lynn and the BOLO gang for including me in this fabulous evening. Wishing you health and happiness. Andrea xo http://youtu.be/viduQMyhXJQ

Blendered. Again.

School started this morning. Lucy and Bayla were thrilled. Mark was melancholy. And I was chopped, tossed and tongue-tied by the schoolyard full of parents. Stepping into that sea of smiling excitement knocked me flat. I can't think. I can't smile. I don't know where to look. Where to stand. My brain goes blank. I say stupid things. It feels like I'm in a blender. There were great friends in that crowd. And faces that maim me at the best of times. Both bowled me. Sure, it's all in my head. And I should probably ground myself, breath, repeat some mantra. But it takes me by surprise. I'm suddenly whirling and sputtering. And blank. But I survived. And today's the first day of my first school year as a free-all-day mom. I've got bon-bons to eat. I'd better get to it.

First Person, First Class

As our enjoyable BOLO evening ended, last week, my friend Laurie and I sprang to our feet, hoping to dash to the exit before throngs of bloggers clogged our path. But the packed room was gridlocked. I shrugged. This would to take a while. But Laurie was dauntless. She raised her eyebrows, smirked and assured me that her "pointy elbows" would whisk us across that floor. And they did. In a flash we were strolling down Preston -- me admiring her finesse. "You're amazing," I said, "I stand invisible for ages trying to squeeze through crowds." "Oh, me too," Laurie chirped, "I can only do that for someone else." Far. Too. Familiar. In the wise words of my friend Janice, "Good God woman ... Be even kinder to yourself, as you have to live with you." Two tier service just disgusts me yet I foist it daily on myself. So, I'm trying to stop. Thanks to both women for the reminders. I must be worth first class self-service -- judging by the company I keep.

Oh BOLO Me-o ♫

I had no idea this event existed. Thanks to my friend, Laurie, I'll be there. I hope you will too. BLOG OUT LOUD 2011 WHERE: The Prescott, 379 Preston Street, at Preston and Beech WHEN: Thursday, July 7, 2011 from 7pm to 10pm WHO: 20+ bloggers reading their favourite post from the past year; plus several photo bloggers displaying their art WHO'S INVITED: Anyone who likes to hear good writing.

Digesting PAB

For the 53 hours since PAB ended, I've been squeezing my brain, hoping to shrink the PAB2011 experience down to a blog-post-sized blurb.

My mind, my chest, my eyes are still swelling with swirling ideas and images. Huge laughs, huge smiles, huge buzzing, tingling emotions. Huge gratitude for the privilege of belonging. This morning, as we attended Lucy's grade 6 graduation, I realized that the stilted, tension-filled ickiness of that sweltering gym, thick with twelve years of inter-parental encounters, was the anti-PAB. And that helped boil the weekend down to its core... PAB gets me. It lets me be me when I'm there. And seems to do the same for us all. PAB's about expressing, not impressing. It's about connecting and creating and stretching and sharing. It's a slingshot into life. Thanks to everybody for the photos (and for the weekend, of course).
More PAB here.

Happiness Is…

Taking Bold Steps.

More than once, I walked home crying. But I made it through my first ever dance class. And I'm absolutely thrilled that I did.

Related Links:

Healing Humiliation: Wise Words from Julien Smith

I've been planning my PAB2011 Jolt. But I'm choking. Luckily, I remembered this sanity-saving advice from Julien Smith. Here's a tiny taste....

Do things that you consider embarrassing.

You must try this. Find your internal filters and break them, one at a time. Notice how society, like an ocean, smoothes over the waves you make, until what you do gets eliminated, or becomes the status quo. Work with this.

-- Julien Smith, The Complete Guide to Not Giving a Fuck If my Jolt is a flop. I'll handle it. Eeep.

Baby Steps

Yesterday was the end of term dance recital at our local community centre. What a fabulous show. Hundreds of talented young people filled with energy, confidence, excitement and joy. Even my belly dancing class troupe performed. Did I join them? No. Did I drop out of the class? Yes. And yet watching that 90 minutes of dance just thrilled me. My timid tip-toeing into dance has opened life up. My burlesque is bashful. My belly dancing, a flop. But I'm trying. And, although what I hoped would be an introductory class turned out to be a seasoned troupe, I'm undeterred. I've signed up for five new dance classes. I may never make it into a recital. But, you know, I'm really hoping I do. And that's definitely a whole new me.

Related Links:

Happiness Is…

On April 14, 2011, after 25 years of full-time employment and with no new position in the works, I quit my job. That evening, I tiptoed timidly into the world of dance. Burlesque, unbelievably. Then celebrated with red wine, Mark and our good friend, Laura. In the six weeks since then, I've turned down a full-time systems analyst position, booked our long-dreamed-of cross-Canada train trip, joined the speaker roster for PAB2011, contributed daily to Mark's new company and endured ten grueling hours of choreographed belly dancing. Sure, I've continued to torture myself with self-doubt, -criticism and -loathing. But I'm better, stronger, happier than I was. I'm alive. And I'm evolving.


BUY Diltiazem HCL ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, My weaknesses, my wrinkles, my weight, waste and wussiness. Diltiazem HCL from canadian pharmacy, My inner-critic's bounced right back to full-time abuse.

It's powerful, order Diltiazem HCL online c.o.d. Buy no prescription Diltiazem HCL online, It's persistent.
But it's no match for my gratitude, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Las Vegas, Nevada.

Those bullying thoughts bombard me, BUY Diltiazem HCL ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. San Diego, California. Dallas, Texas. San Antonio, Texas, As they always have.
But I bash each one, comprar en línea Diltiazem HCL, comprar Diltiazem HCL baratos. Chicago, Illinois. Houston, Texas, Because I'm glad to be here.

I'm alive, Diltiazem HCL pharmacy. Diltiazem HCL 200mg, I'm healthy.
And, acheter en ligne Diltiazem HCL, acheter Diltiazem HCL bon marché, Nashville-Davidson, Tennessee. Portland, Oregon, bit by bit, that inner-critic's going down, Diltiazem HCL 125mg. Buy Diltiazem HCL without prescription. Diltiazem HCL from canadian pharmacy. Diltiazem HCL in cats, dogs, children. Köpa Diltiazem HCL online, Osta Diltiazem HCL online, Jotta Diltiazem HCL verkossa. Diltiazem HCL price. Purchase Diltiazem HCL online no prescription. Buy Diltiazem HCL without a prescription. Diltiazem HCL for sale. Where can i buy Diltiazem HCL online. Buy Diltiazem HCL online cod. Farmacia Diltiazem HCL baratos, Diltiazem HCL online kaufen. El Paso, Texas. Washington, D.C. Seattle, Washington. Buy no prescription Diltiazem HCL online. Order Diltiazem HCL no prescription. Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Las Vegas, Nevada. Order Diltiazem HCL online c.o.d. Jacksonville, Florida, Columbus, Ohio. Online buy Diltiazem HCL without a prescription.

Similar posts: BUY Sumenta ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. BUY Amoxicillin ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. BUY Ilosone ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Dapoxetine for sale. Vitria 5mg. Order Zebeta online c.o.d.
Trackbacks from: BUY Diltiazem HCL ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. BUY Diltiazem HCL ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. BUY Diltiazem HCL ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Buy Diltiazem HCL without prescription. Diltiazem HCL price. Buy Diltiazem HCL without prescription.


"What do you want?" Sarah asks me.

What do I want?

I want BUY Trileptal ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, more. Trileptal 800mg, 875mg, 900mg, I want to crash out of this invisible armor I'm trapped in - to tear away the shackles and freefall, delirious and wild, purchase Trileptal online no prescription. Japan, craiglist, ebay, hcl, I want to plummet naked into a velvet ocean at midnight and roll in the ecstasy of the waves. I want to peel back my layers and hold my raw wounds up to the sun for healing.

I want to slice through these suffocating wrappings and grab onto CORE ME - whoever that is - and never let her go; make her into the real me, buy cheap Trileptal no rx, Fort Worth, Texas. Denver, Colorado, the only me, for some to love and some not to love ., Trileptal price. Kjøpe Trileptal online, bestill Trileptal online, . and I want to not so painfully care who does and who doesn't.

I want to feel, taste, devour it all - no filters, no censors, no gatekeeper telling me what is rightfully mine to take and what isn't, BUY Trileptal ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. I want rapture at the top of a mountain under a full moon, buy generic Trileptal. Baltimore, Maryland. Milwaukee, Wisconsin, I want to absorb me, embrace me, köpa Trileptal online, Osta Trileptal online, Jotta Trileptal verkossa, Where can i buy cheapest Trileptal online, the light and the dark, the glorious and the hideous, order Trileptal from mexican pharmacy, Trileptal coupon, and cherish it all and laugh at it all forever.

Sarah's back. "So what do you want?" she asks.

What do I want, købe Trileptal online, αγοράζουν online Trileptal. Buy Trileptal from canada, "Caprese salad and a cup of pasta fagioul."

We close our menus and clink our chiantis...

-- Juicy Joy - 7 Simple Steps to Your Glorious, Trileptal 500mg, Austin, Texas, Memphis, Tennessee, Gutsy Self. Lisa McCourt, Trileptal withdrawal. Boston, Massachusetts. Charlotte, Carolina, (This book is not yet published. You can snag a sneak peek by signing up for Lisa's newsletter, buy Trileptal no prescription, Buy no prescription Trileptal online, here.)

. Trileptal over the counter. Australia, uk, us, usa. Where can i find Trileptal online. Comprar en línea Trileptal, comprar Trileptal baratos. Buy Trileptal without prescription.

Similar posts: BUY Multivitamins + Iron cap. ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. BUY Insulin Glargine (Lantus) ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. BUY Nordiazepam ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Felodipine (Plendil) 150mg. Kjøpe Sinequan online, bestill Sinequan online. San Diego, California. Dallas, Texas. San Antonio, Texas.
Trackbacks from: BUY Trileptal ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. BUY Trileptal ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. BUY Trileptal ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Buy cheap Trileptal. Buy Trileptal without prescription. Buy Trileptal without a prescription.



Sharing this journey online has rewarded me with opportunities to connect with friends and relatives from the distant past.

Living this journey has rewarded me with the courage to face old fears, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Phoenix, Arizona, Indianapolis, Indiana, San Francisco, California, step beyond the comfort of keystrokes and into real-time, face-to-face encounters, where can i buy cheapest Lodine online. Online buying Lodine, My life is so much richer as a result.

And it's getting easier, Lodine 5mg. Lodine 150mg, Lucky me. Lodine 125mg. El Paso, Texas. Washington, D.C. Seattle, Washington. Lodine from canadian pharmacy. Order Lodine online c.o.d. Lodine 250mg. Købe Lodine online, αγοράζουν online Lodine. Jacksonville, Florida, Columbus, Ohio. Where can i find Lodine online. Reasons to buy Lodine online. Buy Lodine online cod. Lodine 500mg. Lodine 200mg. Buy Lodine online no prescription. Lodine 50mg. Köpa Lodine online, Osta Lodine online, Jotta Lodine verkossa. Lodine price. Lodine 625mg,650mg. Buy Lodine from mexico. Boston, Massachusetts. Charlotte, Carolina. Australia, uk, us, usa. Buy Lodine without a prescription. Lodine withdrawal. 0.4mg, 0.5mg, 1mg, 2.5mg. Lodine coupon.

Similar posts: BUY Kamagra (Brand) ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. BUY 100% Pure Okinawan Coral Calcium ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. BUY Quick Bust ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Købe Proscar online, αγοράζουν online Proscar. Thorazine 100mg. Farmacia Sonata baratos, Sonata online kaufen.
Trackbacks from: BUY Lodine ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. BUY Lodine ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. BUY Lodine ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Acheter en ligne Lodine, acheter Lodine bon marché. Purchase Lodine online. Where can i buy Lodine online.

BUY Insulin Glargine (Lantus) ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION

The last six to eight years have been some of the best of my life -- so far BUY Insulin Glargine (Lantus) ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, . Nashville-Davidson, Tennessee. Portland, Oregon, I've been a mom to two fabulous toddlers, buy cheap Insulin Glargine (Lantus), Buy generic Insulin Glargine (Lantus), preschoolers, school-agers and then awesome eight and ten year old girls, where can i buy cheapest Insulin Glargine (Lantus) online. Order Insulin Glargine (Lantus) online c.o.d, I've made, maintained and enjoyed great friendships, Austin, Texas, Memphis, Tennessee, Insulin Glargine (Lantus) samples, hosted and participated in terrifically silly get-togethers, contributed generously to the world of children's literature and literacy, buy Insulin Glargine (Lantus) online no prescription, Buy Insulin Glargine (Lantus) no prescription, thoroughly enjoyed four PABs, two PCTOs, buy no prescription Insulin Glargine (Lantus) online, Insulin Glargine (Lantus) from canadian pharmacy, one KidLitCon and the online and offline social media scene, and revelled in a whole slew of creative projects, rx free Insulin Glargine (Lantus). Where can i order Insulin Glargine (Lantus) without prescription, I've taken risks. I've grown, Insulin Glargine (Lantus) 500mg. I've been more truly me than my crazy twenty-something years allowed, BUY Insulin Glargine (Lantus) ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Chicago, Illinois. Houston, Texas, And all the while, that cancer grew, buy Insulin Glargine (Lantus) from canada. Farmacia Insulin Glargine (Lantus) baratos, Insulin Glargine (Lantus) online kaufen, So, as the end of chemo inches into sight and I nervously ponder my re-integration, 400mg, 450mg, Order Insulin Glargine (Lantus) no prescription, I remind myself that I'm not actually an alien among the healthy.

In fact, kjøpe Insulin Glargine (Lantus) online, bestill Insulin Glargine (Lantus) online, 0.4mg, 0.5mg, 1mg, 2.5mg, aside from the effects of the treatments themselves, I'm physically healthier now than I've been in six to eight years, canada, mexico, india. Insulin Glargine (Lantus) snort, alcohol iteraction, Ignorance was bliss.

But booting cancer and moving on is bound to be better, Boston, Massachusetts. Charlotte, Carolina. Detroit, Michigan, San Jose, California. Fort Worth, Texas. Denver, Colorado. Boston, Massachusetts. Charlotte, Carolina. Online buy Insulin Glargine (Lantus) without a prescription. Insulin Glargine (Lantus) 500mg. Purchase Insulin Glargine (Lantus) online no prescription.

Similar posts: BUY Amaryl ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. BUY Phenergan ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. BUY Wymox (Brand) ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Buy Nasonex without prescription. Buy Ryzolt online cod. Acomplia Rimonabant withdrawal.
Trackbacks from: BUY Insulin Glargine (Lantus) ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. BUY Insulin Glargine (Lantus) ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. BUY Insulin Glargine (Lantus) ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Insulin Glargine (Lantus) 150mg. Buy Insulin Glargine (Lantus) no prescription. Detroit, Michigan, San Jose, California.